Hashem ... I must clear this from my mind and say it out loud.
"In this very moment, I am feeling very hurt and often sink into deep emotional pain and angst."

I’d like to scream sometimes something mean and nasty as loud as I can ...
... except that’s not who I am, and likely won’t make me feel much better.

But I think I will scream anyway when I get done writing this.

It’s so difficult when someone that you want to feel free to love ...
... does not want to love you back ... for "whatever" reason.

I understand a little bit more now … and maybe I’ve always understood ...
… but just not willing to accept "it" as a truth.

It has just been very hard to accept things for what they really are ...
… and not get confused with how I hoped they’d be.

It just hurts ... and I'm moving on once more ... again.

Now to breathe ... just breathe ...